On most nights, I hit the bed around 10. On most nights, it takes me a good amount of time to fall asleep. Things that have been or could be race through my mind. For a long time, and sometimes still, I keep things to myself. I have known people who speak their mind freely. And, while at times it was inspiring, it was also at times offensive. As an angsty teen, I wrote a lot. Of course, it was all kept personal back then. Rightfully so. But it was a release, and after I would scribble all my cares away in a notebook, I would feel better. A few times in adulthood, I have attempted to revisit that, in times of high anxiety and frustration.
So, as much as this has been an opportunity to share something that many people don't even think to care about, it has been for me. It has allowed me to clear my head before bed. To have that introspective moment (or twenty) to myself. At times, the things that come out are spur-of-the-moment and exactly how I feel right then and there. Other times, it's the things that I've thought long and hard about. Tonight, it's both.
I'm not going to apologize for anything. Just going to toss that out there.
Nobody apologized for mocking my desire to write about this. Nor name calling. People I once considered friends. For fuck's sake, some of them family (you know...distant). LITERALLY. It is my sincere belief that the first couple times I decided to share the thoughts racing through my head, I was thoughtful and considerate. It was never my intention to disrespect or offend anyone in Day One and Day Two. Hadn't even crossed my mind. Actually, I tried really hard NOT to. It had absolutely nothing to do with anyone but myself. But as the comments came out the morning of Day Three, I could see the old-school telephone game that had been played the night before and that morning. And I became really disappointed.
Maybe I took it the wrong way. Maybe it was playful teasing. But when you are ONE PERSON walking through a crowd of people yelling those things, it doesn't exactly feel like it's all in good fun. Did anyone consider that? Had someone made an attempt to say, "hey, you know we're just messing around....you know it's all part of the "show," right," I may have approached things differently.
Had someone approached me to say, "hey, what you said...not cool," I may have thought twice about it. But nobody did. Nobody has said anything. Anything. Had any one of those people actually thought of me as a friend, I would have expected them to confront me and say something. So what's a girl to do? Check herself?
I would love nothing more than to not care about all this. I would love to be able to say, "meh, fuck 'em."
But I do care. Because there were a few people who I really did consider to be friends.
And so, disappointment has plagued me again. So call me a cynic.
Friday, December 6, 2013
The Encore
Work yesterday was awkward, yes. Aside from others who worked alongside me through the strike, there were two (no, no, I take that back....THREE) people who were kind as ever. It was tough. It made it more tough because there were some other people who had crossed who were like, "oh, everyone's been really nice to me." So then, of course, paranoid me thinks, "oh, so it's just me." Granted, being as I knew that some people probably had hard feelings, I didn't go out of my way to talk to anyone either. So was it me? Was it them?
I felt pretty sick to my stomach for most of the day. And, as much as I, again, wanted to share this last night, I hit the bed hard at 8:30. For someone with high anxiety, yesterday was grueling. But I'm tired of feeling like that. I read several posts last night and this morning from friends on Facebook that were inspirational.
I felt pretty sick to my stomach for most of the day. And, as much as I, again, wanted to share this last night, I hit the bed hard at 8:30. For someone with high anxiety, yesterday was grueling. But I'm tired of feeling like that. I read several posts last night and this morning from friends on Facebook that were inspirational.
One posted:
The Paradoxical Commandments
by Dr. Kent M. Keith
People are illogical, unreasonable, and self-centered.
Love them anyway.
If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish ulterior motives.
Do good anyway.
If you are successful, you will win false friends and true enemies.
Succeed anyway.
The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow.
Do good anyway.
Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable.
Be honest and frank anyway.
The biggest men and women with the biggest ideas can be shot down by the smallest men and women with the smallest minds.
Think big anyway.
People favor underdogs but follow only top dogs.
Fight for a few underdogs anyway.
What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight.
Build anyway.
People really need help but may attack you if you do help them.
Help people anyway.
Give the world the best you have and you'll get kicked in the teeth.
Give the world the best you have anyway.
----------------------------
All great words of wisdom. Obviously, some hit a chord with me more than others. The point is, after reading these positive tidbits here and there, I've made a choice. Yesterday, I avoided people. I looked straight ahead when I walked through the office, avoiding eye contact. I'm not sure why. It felt like the right thing to do at the time. But I remembered that those who avoid eye contact do so when they know they've done something wrong. Maybe others think I have. But I haven't. So today, I'm not going to avoid it. And I'll smile. Because I am a friendly person. And the past is the past. Can't change it. But I can make an effort towards resuming a peaceful (wait...is it possible?) work environment with my co-workers.
After all, life is what you make of it (work included). If I have a negative attitude about it and those around me, nothing will get better. But maybe, just maybe (fingers crossed, but not holding breath), if I make a positive effort...
One last quote...not sure whose it is, but a friend shared it:
"If you scratch the surface of a cynic, inside you will find a disappointed idealist."
Wednesday, December 4, 2013
Good old trusty denim
Today marked the final day of the strike.
Tomorrow, all of my co-workers will come back. It will be business...but probably not as usual. Maybe. Maybe not, too. I think I'm feeling more apprehensive about their return than I felt 17 days ago when I first crossed the picket line. And I think a lot of people are feeling the same. As much as I would like to believe that things will go back to how they were before this whole thing began, I think I know better. I trust there will be people who will act no different than before: friendly. I also trust there will be people who will act no different than before: not so friendly. It's the people in-between that I'm not so sure about.
I know that those members of the union who were on strike are really, very proud for what they have accomplished (though, the accomplishment will not be revealed until tomorrow). And I , too, am really truly happy for them and proud of them for standing up for what they believe in, even if I don't believe the same. I can respect someone for practicing what they preach and following through with what they set out to accomplish.
I didn't have very high expectations of what work would be like while everyone else was on strike. I figured it would be tough. Everyone warned that they could "make" me do just about anything. "They could make you work in any department!" And, of course, then I could rack up a bunch of errors! Gasp!
But, I also knew what would be the right choice for me. And it had nothing to do with the type or amount of work that I would have to do. It was doing what I believed to be the responsible thing: go to work. And work. And you know what? I would never, in a million years, make a different choice. Yeah, I made about a paycheck's worth of overtime. Yeah, I got premiere parking for 2 1/2 weeks. Yeah, I got a few meals. And yeah, I got a shit ton of comp time. But I'm not sure that I can fully express how much more I received out of this experience. Just as those on strike are really proud of themselves for sticking together for a common cause, I feel the same way about those of us who worked OUR FUCKING ASSES OFF while they were dancing on the street corner (come on...I can add a little humor here and there). Would I have liked to dance, too? Hell yeah! I love making a fool of myself. But these past few weeks were my time to show that I can be a dedicated employee. And just as much as everyone on strike bound together and forged solid friendships, I'm much closer to the people who were working. And, when the majority of those are the people who manage you, well, it can't be a bad thing. We held it together. The system stayed afloat. But don't worry, we saved plenty of work for everyone. ;)
All day, I've felt about on the verge of crying. This whole experience has been quite overwhelming. I want to cry for relief: I can spend more time at home. I want to cry for pride: I worked so hard. I want to cry for OCD: those full shelves will, slowly but surely, be reduced to an average workload. I want to cry from anxiety: what will tomorrow, the next day, the next week, the next month bring? I want to cry for joy: I can wear jeans again!
Because, as nice as it will be to have the load taken off a bit, I am so, SO excited to wear a pair of motherfucking jeans to work tomorrow. Nobody better even think to ask me to go up to court for even the tiniest thing. Ain't gonna happen.
As I stated before, I am really apprehensive about tomorrow. Like I said a few posts back, I am somebody who does really care about what people think of me. I'm not going to lie about that. I used to. I played the "alternative-don't-give-a-shit" girl for a long time. But, with age, I've gained a sense of honesty, both with myself and others. I guess I just need to remind myself: work is work and friends are friends. I'm not saying that I don't want to be on good terms with my co-workers. I'm just prepping myself in case they don't want to remain cordial. I suppose I should want honesty from them as well. And, if they can't look past our differences in opinion and maintain a positive working environment...so be it. And, if that working environment turns hostile...well, we all know how that last "threat" went. I take care of business. And I look out me.
Well. That's that. Hoping for the best...
Tomorrow, all of my co-workers will come back. It will be business...but probably not as usual. Maybe. Maybe not, too. I think I'm feeling more apprehensive about their return than I felt 17 days ago when I first crossed the picket line. And I think a lot of people are feeling the same. As much as I would like to believe that things will go back to how they were before this whole thing began, I think I know better. I trust there will be people who will act no different than before: friendly. I also trust there will be people who will act no different than before: not so friendly. It's the people in-between that I'm not so sure about.
I know that those members of the union who were on strike are really, very proud for what they have accomplished (though, the accomplishment will not be revealed until tomorrow). And I , too, am really truly happy for them and proud of them for standing up for what they believe in, even if I don't believe the same. I can respect someone for practicing what they preach and following through with what they set out to accomplish.
I didn't have very high expectations of what work would be like while everyone else was on strike. I figured it would be tough. Everyone warned that they could "make" me do just about anything. "They could make you work in any department!" And, of course, then I could rack up a bunch of errors! Gasp!
But, I also knew what would be the right choice for me. And it had nothing to do with the type or amount of work that I would have to do. It was doing what I believed to be the responsible thing: go to work. And work. And you know what? I would never, in a million years, make a different choice. Yeah, I made about a paycheck's worth of overtime. Yeah, I got premiere parking for 2 1/2 weeks. Yeah, I got a few meals. And yeah, I got a shit ton of comp time. But I'm not sure that I can fully express how much more I received out of this experience. Just as those on strike are really proud of themselves for sticking together for a common cause, I feel the same way about those of us who worked OUR FUCKING ASSES OFF while they were dancing on the street corner (come on...I can add a little humor here and there). Would I have liked to dance, too? Hell yeah! I love making a fool of myself. But these past few weeks were my time to show that I can be a dedicated employee. And just as much as everyone on strike bound together and forged solid friendships, I'm much closer to the people who were working. And, when the majority of those are the people who manage you, well, it can't be a bad thing. We held it together. The system stayed afloat. But don't worry, we saved plenty of work for everyone. ;)
All day, I've felt about on the verge of crying. This whole experience has been quite overwhelming. I want to cry for relief: I can spend more time at home. I want to cry for pride: I worked so hard. I want to cry for OCD: those full shelves will, slowly but surely, be reduced to an average workload. I want to cry from anxiety: what will tomorrow, the next day, the next week, the next month bring? I want to cry for joy: I can wear jeans again!
Because, as nice as it will be to have the load taken off a bit, I am so, SO excited to wear a pair of motherfucking jeans to work tomorrow. Nobody better even think to ask me to go up to court for even the tiniest thing. Ain't gonna happen.
As I stated before, I am really apprehensive about tomorrow. Like I said a few posts back, I am somebody who does really care about what people think of me. I'm not going to lie about that. I used to. I played the "alternative-don't-give-a-shit" girl for a long time. But, with age, I've gained a sense of honesty, both with myself and others. I guess I just need to remind myself: work is work and friends are friends. I'm not saying that I don't want to be on good terms with my co-workers. I'm just prepping myself in case they don't want to remain cordial. I suppose I should want honesty from them as well. And, if they can't look past our differences in opinion and maintain a positive working environment...so be it. And, if that working environment turns hostile...well, we all know how that last "threat" went. I take care of business. And I look out me.
Well. That's that. Hoping for the best...
Monday, December 2, 2013
Days Four, Five...Nine...
I've been leaving you hanging, I know. Time flies when you're busy. I swear I started this over a week ago, but got caught up trying to edit a few things here and there, and, well, then I gave up. For 9 days. Plus, holiday. So, yeah.
As I've stated before, what I really want to share is what things are like from this side of a strike. I'm going to try to keep in mind all the things that I learned from the 4 years in journalism class back in the day (my gosh...has it really been 10 years now?!) and remain factual and unbiased in my representations of going to work. With that being said, I'll give a--hopefully brief--synopsis of what a typical day within the past 2 weeks has brought:
*We can start as early as 7:00 am. I generally stick to the regular start time of 8:30.
*When I get in, I get any/everything extra ready for Court. I go to Court every day.
*In my department, there is someone scheduled for each and every courtroom.
*We don't have to take minutes; that's what the orders are for. *Update: started using mini's again today.
*We take care of the important things in court: custodies, quashes, and the like. In between our assistance to whomever requires it, we enter work. *Update: back to (mostly normal) in court. Didn't have time to enter work today.
*No one breaks me. I take a break when I want. They don't miss me when I'm gone.
*When court is done, I come down for lunch. Again, no one has had to break me. The latest I've been in court was almost 1:00. The earliest I've gotten out: 11:30.
*We can take as short of a lunch as we want, or the full hour. We get comp time for any time short of the full hour. My lunches are usually 30-45 minutes.
* After lunch, I timestamp, prioritize, and enter work that needs to be done.
*All my priorities get done. And I've entered all files that are coming up within the next month.
*Mine is the courtroom that has the most work, and so yes, there are several days worth of work to be done. But again, anything of priority or up within the next month has been done.
* I am now at the point of having about 4 days worth of work left to do. I'm sure it will begin accumulating again, but everyone pitches in over the weekend to catch up a bit.
*Some other courtrooms are pretty close to being current and/or are current.
*I've stayed until at least 5:30 every night. We can stay as late as 7:00 pm.
*Week one I accrued 15 hours of overtime. Week two was only 5, but I got double-time for an extra 5 hours on Friday (Black Friday).
I think that about covers a typical day...oh...except the honking and buzzers and shouting and honking and honking and honking. I swear I hear it in my sleep. It is non-stop. I guess there are sometimes work trucks out there that stay running and they put something ON the horn so it just goes...constantly...outside my window. Ibuprofin has been a more prevalent fixture in my days. I suppose it comes with the territory, though.
Overall, we're doing really well. The people who have chosen to come in are kicking butt! And those who must work regardless (managers, supervisors, and the like), well, they are friggin' machines! We may be working hard, but don't take that as a sign of weakness. Would it be nice to have everyone back and for work to proceed at a usual pace? Sure. But there are definitely some pros to this whole thing.
Someone near and dear to me said that I may want to reconsider some things that I said in my last post. But, I figure, what's said is said. I'm sure some people probably took my last comment as a real dig. And, sure, I may have said it as a dig. But many people have taken their opportunity to dig all of us who decided to work, so I don't really feel bad. One person told me that someone said to them on his/her way in, "Because of you, my child isn't going to have a nice Christmas!" And we concluded: No, that's on YOU. Nobody is forcing anyone to do anything. If, as a result of this, you can't afford to buy your child presents, I'm very sorry, but you chose not to work. I really dislike when people don't take responsibility for their own actions.
Life is what you make of it. And, consequently, so is work. I'm still enjoying my job, maybe even more than before. Heck, in an office full of (mostly) women, it sure is nice to have some peace and quiet. Err...aside from that honking. ;)
As I've stated before, what I really want to share is what things are like from this side of a strike. I'm going to try to keep in mind all the things that I learned from the 4 years in journalism class back in the day (my gosh...has it really been 10 years now?!) and remain factual and unbiased in my representations of going to work. With that being said, I'll give a--hopefully brief--synopsis of what a typical day within the past 2 weeks has brought:
*We can start as early as 7:00 am. I generally stick to the regular start time of 8:30.
*When I get in, I get any/everything extra ready for Court. I go to Court every day.
*In my department, there is someone scheduled for each and every courtroom.
*We don't have to take minutes; that's what the orders are for. *Update: started using mini's again today.
*We take care of the important things in court: custodies, quashes, and the like. In between our assistance to whomever requires it, we enter work. *Update: back to (mostly normal) in court. Didn't have time to enter work today.
*No one breaks me. I take a break when I want. They don't miss me when I'm gone.
*When court is done, I come down for lunch. Again, no one has had to break me. The latest I've been in court was almost 1:00. The earliest I've gotten out: 11:30.
*We can take as short of a lunch as we want, or the full hour. We get comp time for any time short of the full hour. My lunches are usually 30-45 minutes.
* After lunch, I timestamp, prioritize, and enter work that needs to be done.
*All my priorities get done. And I've entered all files that are coming up within the next month.
*Mine is the courtroom that has the most work, and so yes, there are several days worth of work to be done. But again, anything of priority or up within the next month has been done.
* I am now at the point of having about 4 days worth of work left to do. I'm sure it will begin accumulating again, but everyone pitches in over the weekend to catch up a bit.
*Some other courtrooms are pretty close to being current and/or are current.
*I've stayed until at least 5:30 every night. We can stay as late as 7:00 pm.
*Week one I accrued 15 hours of overtime. Week two was only 5, but I got double-time for an extra 5 hours on Friday (Black Friday).
I think that about covers a typical day...oh...except the honking and buzzers and shouting and honking and honking and honking. I swear I hear it in my sleep. It is non-stop. I guess there are sometimes work trucks out there that stay running and they put something ON the horn so it just goes...constantly...outside my window. Ibuprofin has been a more prevalent fixture in my days. I suppose it comes with the territory, though.
Overall, we're doing really well. The people who have chosen to come in are kicking butt! And those who must work regardless (managers, supervisors, and the like), well, they are friggin' machines! We may be working hard, but don't take that as a sign of weakness. Would it be nice to have everyone back and for work to proceed at a usual pace? Sure. But there are definitely some pros to this whole thing.
Someone near and dear to me said that I may want to reconsider some things that I said in my last post. But, I figure, what's said is said. I'm sure some people probably took my last comment as a real dig. And, sure, I may have said it as a dig. But many people have taken their opportunity to dig all of us who decided to work, so I don't really feel bad. One person told me that someone said to them on his/her way in, "Because of you, my child isn't going to have a nice Christmas!" And we concluded: No, that's on YOU. Nobody is forcing anyone to do anything. If, as a result of this, you can't afford to buy your child presents, I'm very sorry, but you chose not to work. I really dislike when people don't take responsibility for their own actions.
Life is what you make of it. And, consequently, so is work. I'm still enjoying my job, maybe even more than before. Heck, in an office full of (mostly) women, it sure is nice to have some peace and quiet. Err...aside from that honking. ;)
Wednesday, November 20, 2013
Day Three
I am going to attempt to make this quick. Because, honestly, I am exhausted. All this optional overtime (that I opt to take) is really wearing me out!
*insert overly-dramatic stretch and yawn*
On days one and two, I opted to keep the iPod plugged on my way in to work. I just didn't want to hear it. But for some reason (maybe I wanted something good to write about?), I decided against it this morning.
Of course I got the usual "SCAB ALERT," along with the "SHAME ON YOU!" Pretty typical, I suppose. But I also found out that I must have a few fans of my blog as well. They were very considerate in voicing their concerns about what I have written as well. One person in particular told me, "I wonder what Pam McGuire is going to think about what you wrote about her?" Oh, man, I thought, I wonder, as well. Did I say something I shouldn't have? Wait...did I even mention her name?
Having been at my job for about a year and a half, I'm on to how some people operate. Human resources has told us many times that people slide posts from Facebook under the door for them to see. So, for all my concerned fans out there, I saved you the trouble. I gave HR the link to this page. And it was read by HR and Pam McGuire. Turns out, they dig it. So, while I appreciate your concern, I think I can handle it.
I really don't want people to look at me as a bad guy (or girl). I really thought that my previous posts were far from offensive. But there have been quite a few people (people I may not have expected) saying some pretty offensive things. Maybe I take things to heart too easily, too. Like the gang of people outside my window everyday? Banging and chanting and blowing horns...FYI, I'm in Court most of the day. I did come down to find a radio set up, blaring my desk at lunch though, to tune out the noise. I get that you're trying to...wait...what ARE you trying to do? You do know that you will eventually have to come back and work with me, right? I mean...that's going to be awkward, no? I guess that concerns me.
I'm going to give it another day or two to say some things that I would really love to share (i.e. the PERKS of being a scab...oh, yes, there are plenty). I don't want it to come across the wrong way, but one of my main objectives of starting this was to tell how it is when you cross that line.
But again, my pillow is calling my name. An 11-hour work day is tough. Know what won't be tough?
Christmas.
(Did I just write that? Ouch.)
*insert overly-dramatic stretch and yawn*
On days one and two, I opted to keep the iPod plugged on my way in to work. I just didn't want to hear it. But for some reason (maybe I wanted something good to write about?), I decided against it this morning.
Of course I got the usual "SCAB ALERT," along with the "SHAME ON YOU!" Pretty typical, I suppose. But I also found out that I must have a few fans of my blog as well. They were very considerate in voicing their concerns about what I have written as well. One person in particular told me, "I wonder what Pam McGuire is going to think about what you wrote about her?" Oh, man, I thought, I wonder, as well. Did I say something I shouldn't have? Wait...did I even mention her name?
Having been at my job for about a year and a half, I'm on to how some people operate. Human resources has told us many times that people slide posts from Facebook under the door for them to see. So, for all my concerned fans out there, I saved you the trouble. I gave HR the link to this page. And it was read by HR and Pam McGuire. Turns out, they dig it. So, while I appreciate your concern, I think I can handle it.
I really don't want people to look at me as a bad guy (or girl). I really thought that my previous posts were far from offensive. But there have been quite a few people (people I may not have expected) saying some pretty offensive things. Maybe I take things to heart too easily, too. Like the gang of people outside my window everyday? Banging and chanting and blowing horns...FYI, I'm in Court most of the day. I did come down to find a radio set up, blaring my desk at lunch though, to tune out the noise. I get that you're trying to...wait...what ARE you trying to do? You do know that you will eventually have to come back and work with me, right? I mean...that's going to be awkward, no? I guess that concerns me.
I'm going to give it another day or two to say some things that I would really love to share (i.e. the PERKS of being a scab...oh, yes, there are plenty). I don't want it to come across the wrong way, but one of my main objectives of starting this was to tell how it is when you cross that line.
But again, my pillow is calling my name. An 11-hour work day is tough. Know what won't be tough?
Christmas.
(Did I just write that? Ouch.)
Tuesday, November 19, 2013
Day Two
What I would really like to do is get right to the point and divulge just how things have been going at work. But, I promised a bit of background. And, I do love explaining how my mind works. I find it pretty amazing; you should, too.
I come from a family of union workers. Seriously. Your typical middle class union family. My dad was an electrician and worked for Caterpillar for many, many years. My oldest brother is a union carpenter and my other two brothers are union pipe fitters. Holidays consist of me and the other females in the family chatting amongst ourselves as the boys talk of all things union. I never really saw the draw of it. I mean, I understand the reason why unions were created. Many moons ago, working conditions were not what they are today and the unions served as a great voice for workers. And, sure, there may be some jobs that could still use the assistance of a union. But, for the most part, I think they're overrated. I believe advancement and raises within a job should be based on how well you perform your job. So, when I began a job that had a union, I stuck to the basics and decided to just be a "fair share" member. It didn't make sense to me to pay an extra $10 a month just to vote for things I really don't care about. Now, now...don't get flustered. I don't have to care. I didn't vote last year for President either. I just don't think many people running for any office are worth a damn. And, when you come right down to it, they are only looking out for themselves. Who doesn't? Which is fine.
That being said, I didn't base my choice to cross the picket line solely on the fact that I don't think the work I do necessitates a union. I did consider it. Highly. When word spread that those on strike would receive strike pay...$200 per week...I was all for it. After all, if you subtract the money that we spend on childcare, I would have been coming out ahead. But then I found out that because I was fair share, I wouldn't get that pay. So then I really got to thinking about it. Was it worth it to sign up to be a full share member? It didn't take me long to come to my conclusion. But even after I reached my decision, it still plagued mind for a while. And the more I thought about it, the more confident I felt in my decision.
Reason#1: Insurance
So, during a strike, you don't receive pay from your employer. You also don't retain your insurance benefits. Being that the insurance was one of the big draws for my job, my family uses those benefits. Want to know how good? Under the old contract, I paid a measly $50 a month for my entire family to have BCBS of Illinois PPO. Yeah. Good. And, it is one of the main things the union was/is fighting over. Obviously, insurance premiums are going up all across the friggin' country (kudos, Obama). So the fact that the County wanted to raise what we pay into that shouldn't have been a surprise. And, over time, they came down quite a bit. Last word was, they wanted to double what we paid. Ok. So...$100 a month instead of $50. I can dig. Because, seriously, if we chose to get insurance though my husband's work, it would quadruple. Ouch. I really couldn't argue with what the County was offering there. And as far as the strike goes, I wasn't about to give up having insurance for who knows how long when my entire family depends on it. It would be my luck that I'd go on strike and one of the kids would break an arm or burn their leg or knock out a tooth. No thanks.
Reason #2: Pay
As I stated in Day One, we have made some serious strides when it comes to finances. I'm not about to take two steps back. I heard people talking about how they need to call this place or that place to delay payment of bills or skip a month. Eff that. If I called, they'd be like, "oh, yeah, sure, let me file that under the 'send to collections' category." The union is fighting for raises for the County employees. The people at my work are the second lowest paid County employees. No, the pay isn't great. But it's money. And to be honest, they don't require a degree in rocket science to do it. Sure, we train for a good 6 months, but a high school diploma could probably get you in. Look around. There aren't many jobs out there. There really aren't many jobs that pay better. And to find better pay and benefits? Forget it. I'm not saying that there aren't intelligent people where I work. There are. There are also not. But again, good luck finding something that is going to pay you more.
Reason #3: Childish Games
Neither side is being very mature about it. But I think the union and the people representing it have acted more child-like than the County. Seriously. I expect it out of politicians. But the union that is supposed to be representing me? I scold my daughter for finger-pointing and placing blame on others. And I'm supposed to accept it from my union representatives? No thanks.
Reason #4: Religion?
Alright, you got me. I am not religious. But I believe in certain things. I believe in positive thinking. I prefer to see the best in the things that affect my life. So far, it's worked pretty well for me (see my last 2 posts from 2012). When I stopped focusing on all the bad things about my last job and focused on what could be, it...was. I also believe that what you project out is reflected back. So if I were to stand out on the street, complaining and yelling, full of anger and frustration, then that's what will be. I believe in gratitude. So, I am grateful for the job that I have. I enjoy the work that I do. And I hope that my tenacity pays off.
My goal in posting this is not to change anyone's mind about however they may feel about what I'm doing, unions, the County, or anything else. My goal was simply to explain where I'm coming from. I don't disrespect those who have decided to strike. Everyone has his/her own reasons. For some, the decrease in pay could severely hurt them. Others don't want the insurance to go up. There are even those who are simply the"lemmings," who are just doing it for the social aspect or to be accepted by their peers. It's not that I don't care what my peers think of me. Believe me, I do. Want to know a secret? I care a lot. But I care more about taking care of my family and doing what I believe is the best choice for me. And I hope that even if you don't agree with me' you can respect my decision.
Oh, and walking in the first day? It was a friggin' rush! Like the first drop at the top of a roller coaster. I pumped myself up with some sweet, sweet tunes on my drive in and listened to my iPod on the walk in.Even over the music, I could hear the yelling. I ignored it. Scratch that. I couldn't hear it over the sound of my own pride that I felt as I walked in. For someone who cares a whole lot what others think, more than anything, I am really really proud of myself for doing what I did, and will continue to do...work.
I come from a family of union workers. Seriously. Your typical middle class union family. My dad was an electrician and worked for Caterpillar for many, many years. My oldest brother is a union carpenter and my other two brothers are union pipe fitters. Holidays consist of me and the other females in the family chatting amongst ourselves as the boys talk of all things union. I never really saw the draw of it. I mean, I understand the reason why unions were created. Many moons ago, working conditions were not what they are today and the unions served as a great voice for workers. And, sure, there may be some jobs that could still use the assistance of a union. But, for the most part, I think they're overrated. I believe advancement and raises within a job should be based on how well you perform your job. So, when I began a job that had a union, I stuck to the basics and decided to just be a "fair share" member. It didn't make sense to me to pay an extra $10 a month just to vote for things I really don't care about. Now, now...don't get flustered. I don't have to care. I didn't vote last year for President either. I just don't think many people running for any office are worth a damn. And, when you come right down to it, they are only looking out for themselves. Who doesn't? Which is fine.
That being said, I didn't base my choice to cross the picket line solely on the fact that I don't think the work I do necessitates a union. I did consider it. Highly. When word spread that those on strike would receive strike pay...$200 per week...I was all for it. After all, if you subtract the money that we spend on childcare, I would have been coming out ahead. But then I found out that because I was fair share, I wouldn't get that pay. So then I really got to thinking about it. Was it worth it to sign up to be a full share member? It didn't take me long to come to my conclusion. But even after I reached my decision, it still plagued mind for a while. And the more I thought about it, the more confident I felt in my decision.
Reason#1: Insurance
So, during a strike, you don't receive pay from your employer. You also don't retain your insurance benefits. Being that the insurance was one of the big draws for my job, my family uses those benefits. Want to know how good? Under the old contract, I paid a measly $50 a month for my entire family to have BCBS of Illinois PPO. Yeah. Good. And, it is one of the main things the union was/is fighting over. Obviously, insurance premiums are going up all across the friggin' country (kudos, Obama). So the fact that the County wanted to raise what we pay into that shouldn't have been a surprise. And, over time, they came down quite a bit. Last word was, they wanted to double what we paid. Ok. So...$100 a month instead of $50. I can dig. Because, seriously, if we chose to get insurance though my husband's work, it would quadruple. Ouch. I really couldn't argue with what the County was offering there. And as far as the strike goes, I wasn't about to give up having insurance for who knows how long when my entire family depends on it. It would be my luck that I'd go on strike and one of the kids would break an arm or burn their leg or knock out a tooth. No thanks.
Reason #2: Pay
As I stated in Day One, we have made some serious strides when it comes to finances. I'm not about to take two steps back. I heard people talking about how they need to call this place or that place to delay payment of bills or skip a month. Eff that. If I called, they'd be like, "oh, yeah, sure, let me file that under the 'send to collections' category." The union is fighting for raises for the County employees. The people at my work are the second lowest paid County employees. No, the pay isn't great. But it's money. And to be honest, they don't require a degree in rocket science to do it. Sure, we train for a good 6 months, but a high school diploma could probably get you in. Look around. There aren't many jobs out there. There really aren't many jobs that pay better. And to find better pay and benefits? Forget it. I'm not saying that there aren't intelligent people where I work. There are. There are also not. But again, good luck finding something that is going to pay you more.
Reason #3: Childish Games
Neither side is being very mature about it. But I think the union and the people representing it have acted more child-like than the County. Seriously. I expect it out of politicians. But the union that is supposed to be representing me? I scold my daughter for finger-pointing and placing blame on others. And I'm supposed to accept it from my union representatives? No thanks.
Reason #4: Religion?
Alright, you got me. I am not religious. But I believe in certain things. I believe in positive thinking. I prefer to see the best in the things that affect my life. So far, it's worked pretty well for me (see my last 2 posts from 2012). When I stopped focusing on all the bad things about my last job and focused on what could be, it...was. I also believe that what you project out is reflected back. So if I were to stand out on the street, complaining and yelling, full of anger and frustration, then that's what will be. I believe in gratitude. So, I am grateful for the job that I have. I enjoy the work that I do. And I hope that my tenacity pays off.
My goal in posting this is not to change anyone's mind about however they may feel about what I'm doing, unions, the County, or anything else. My goal was simply to explain where I'm coming from. I don't disrespect those who have decided to strike. Everyone has his/her own reasons. For some, the decrease in pay could severely hurt them. Others don't want the insurance to go up. There are even those who are simply the"lemmings," who are just doing it for the social aspect or to be accepted by their peers. It's not that I don't care what my peers think of me. Believe me, I do. Want to know a secret? I care a lot. But I care more about taking care of my family and doing what I believe is the best choice for me. And I hope that even if you don't agree with me' you can respect my decision.
Oh, and walking in the first day? It was a friggin' rush! Like the first drop at the top of a roller coaster. I pumped myself up with some sweet, sweet tunes on my drive in and listened to my iPod on the walk in.
Monday, November 18, 2013
Day One
Once upon a time, there was a girl who dreamt of having something more than just a job. She wanted to be able to prove that she was more than a silly cashier at a grocery store. She knew she had brains, and she wanted to use them. For five years she searched...and searched...and searched. There was, however, always something holding her back from reaching her goal of attaining a "better" job. It was the timing, it was the insurance benefits, the wages, the thought of having to hire a child care provider...there was always something holding her back.
Then, one day, all those things seemed to vanish. It didn't matter anymore if they existed or not; she was ready. She was ready to begin a new adventure, no matter what. And so...
April 30, 2012 was my first day at my new job. I knew it was going to be a big change. It was difficult making the transition from part-time to full-time; leaving my two girls in the care of someone else was, at times, heartbreaking. I began to realize what having two full-time jobs was like. My work day wasn't over when I left the office; it continued until everyone was in bed and all the housework was done. I've learned to balance it over the past 18 months. Many days housework goes undone, which was difficult at first. There used to be days where I would wake up at 6 am, get ready, get the girls up, get them ready, drop them off at the babysitter's house, go to work, pick them up, come home, clean, clean, clean, make dinner, clean, clean, clean, get them ready for bed, and CRASH. Mind you, my husband was working nearly 12-hour shifts at the time. Needless to say, I was beyond stressed. Nowadays, I get done what needs to be done and enjoy the sometimes short time that I have with my loved ones. I am really, truly grateful for that time.
My family has also made some strides financially as of late. We work hard. And, for some time, we were as thousands upon thousands of people all over the world who lived beyond their means. It became this vicious cycle of debt and collections and creating more debt to clear other debt. It was hard. It was stressful. I loathed paying bills, so sometimes I just wouldn't do it. It wasn't always because the money wasn't there either; sometimes I just didn't want to tell my husband that we only had $50 to last the rest of the week. Living paycheck to paycheck sucks.
After years of threatening to let him take over paying the bills, my husband finally took a look at things. And we sat down (a few times...for several hours) and created a plan. Turns out, when we stop buying the UN-necessities, we are able to save quite a bit. And pay bills. On time. Without late charges. It is amazing what we have accomplished after taking the time to team up and agree on things. I, for one, am really happy with the progress we've made! Until you have been at the point we were/have been, you can't understand the pride that comes from getting your finances on track!
So, back to this "new" job. I am a clerk at my County's courthouse. I didn't really have any expectations when I started. I just wanted out of my last job. At first, it was like learning a new language. If you know anything about me, you'd know that I L O V E learning. If I could, I would make a living out of learning. So yeah, I was happy about it. And I caught on pretty quick. After 6 months, I was moved to a new department...one that was a bit more difficult. I took on the challenge with ferocity. I was going to kill it! And I did. In the year that I've been in that department, I've learned the ins and outs of all but one Court call. So, I feel pretty confident in where I stand as an employee.
A few months ago, talk began spreading about the possibility of our union going on strike. Weird, I thought, I didn't think we could go on strike. I didn't think too much of it. But as time went on, the union and County Board members had more and more bargaining negotiations and talk turned from possibly striking to when the strike would occur. All the while, management spent months preparing for the impending strike. I listened when my co-workers spoke of it. I heard the anger in their voices. I know they are standing for something that they believe in.
November 18, 2013: Will County AFSCME Local 1028, day 1 of strike.
The only problem with this? I'm standing on the other side.
Yes, I am a (fair share) member of the union.
Yes, I crossed that line.
No, I'm not sorry.
Want to know why? Tomorrow's post will give more of my background, personal feelings/issues which led me to cross, along with how it felt to cross that line (you might be surprised!).
Then, one day, all those things seemed to vanish. It didn't matter anymore if they existed or not; she was ready. She was ready to begin a new adventure, no matter what. And so...
April 30, 2012 was my first day at my new job. I knew it was going to be a big change. It was difficult making the transition from part-time to full-time; leaving my two girls in the care of someone else was, at times, heartbreaking. I began to realize what having two full-time jobs was like. My work day wasn't over when I left the office; it continued until everyone was in bed and all the housework was done. I've learned to balance it over the past 18 months. Many days housework goes undone, which was difficult at first. There used to be days where I would wake up at 6 am, get ready, get the girls up, get them ready, drop them off at the babysitter's house, go to work, pick them up, come home, clean, clean, clean, make dinner, clean, clean, clean, get them ready for bed, and CRASH. Mind you, my husband was working nearly 12-hour shifts at the time. Needless to say, I was beyond stressed. Nowadays, I get done what needs to be done and enjoy the sometimes short time that I have with my loved ones. I am really, truly grateful for that time.
My family has also made some strides financially as of late. We work hard. And, for some time, we were as thousands upon thousands of people all over the world who lived beyond their means. It became this vicious cycle of debt and collections and creating more debt to clear other debt. It was hard. It was stressful. I loathed paying bills, so sometimes I just wouldn't do it. It wasn't always because the money wasn't there either; sometimes I just didn't want to tell my husband that we only had $50 to last the rest of the week. Living paycheck to paycheck sucks.
After years of threatening to let him take over paying the bills, my husband finally took a look at things. And we sat down (a few times...for several hours) and created a plan. Turns out, when we stop buying the UN-necessities, we are able to save quite a bit. And pay bills. On time. Without late charges. It is amazing what we have accomplished after taking the time to team up and agree on things. I, for one, am really happy with the progress we've made! Until you have been at the point we were/have been, you can't understand the pride that comes from getting your finances on track!
So, back to this "new" job. I am a clerk at my County's courthouse. I didn't really have any expectations when I started. I just wanted out of my last job. At first, it was like learning a new language. If you know anything about me, you'd know that I L O V E learning. If I could, I would make a living out of learning. So yeah, I was happy about it. And I caught on pretty quick. After 6 months, I was moved to a new department...one that was a bit more difficult. I took on the challenge with ferocity. I was going to kill it! And I did. In the year that I've been in that department, I've learned the ins and outs of all but one Court call. So, I feel pretty confident in where I stand as an employee.
A few months ago, talk began spreading about the possibility of our union going on strike. Weird, I thought, I didn't think we could go on strike. I didn't think too much of it. But as time went on, the union and County Board members had more and more bargaining negotiations and talk turned from possibly striking to when the strike would occur. All the while, management spent months preparing for the impending strike. I listened when my co-workers spoke of it. I heard the anger in their voices. I know they are standing for something that they believe in.
November 18, 2013: Will County AFSCME Local 1028, day 1 of strike.
The only problem with this? I'm standing on the other side.
Yes, I am a (fair share) member of the union.
Yes, I crossed that line.
No, I'm not sorry.
Want to know why? Tomorrow's post will give more of my background, personal feelings/issues which led me to cross, along with how it felt to cross that line (you might be surprised!).
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