The Encore

Work yesterday was awkward, yes. Aside from others who worked alongside me through the strike, there were two (no, no, I take that back....THREE) people who were kind as ever. It was tough. It made it more tough because there were some other people who had crossed who were like, "oh, everyone's been really nice to me." So then, of course, paranoid me thinks, "oh, so it's just me." Granted, being as I knew that some people probably had hard feelings, I didn't go out of my way to talk to anyone either. So was it me? Was it them? 

I felt pretty sick to my stomach for most of the day. And, as much as I, again, wanted to share this last night, I hit the bed hard at 8:30. For someone with high anxiety, yesterday was grueling. But I'm tired of feeling like that. I read several posts last night and this morning from friends on Facebook that were inspirational. 

One posted:

The Paradoxical Commandments

by Dr. Kent M. Keith

People are illogical, unreasonable, and self-centered.

Love them anyway.

If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish ulterior motives.

Do good anyway.

If you are successful, you will win false friends and true enemies.

Succeed anyway.

The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow.

Do good anyway.

Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable.

Be honest and frank anyway.

The biggest men and women with the biggest ideas can be shot down by the smallest men and women with the smallest minds.

Think big anyway.

People favor underdogs but follow only top dogs.

Fight for a few underdogs anyway.

What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight.

Build anyway.

People really need help but may attack you if you do help them.

Help people anyway.

Give the world the best you have and you'll get kicked in the teeth.

Give the world the best you have anyway.

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All great words of wisdom. Obviously, some hit a chord with me more than others. The point is, after reading these positive tidbits here and there, I've made a choice. Yesterday, I avoided people. I looked straight ahead when I walked through the office, avoiding eye contact. I'm not sure why. It felt like the right thing to do at the time. But I remembered that those who avoid eye contact do so when they know they've done something wrong. Maybe others think I have. But I haven't. So today, I'm not going to avoid it. And I'll smile. Because I am a friendly person. And the past is the past. Can't change it. But I can make an effort towards resuming a peaceful (wait...is it possible?) work environment with my co-workers.

After all, life is what you make of it (work included). If I have a negative attitude about it and those around me, nothing will get better. But maybe, just maybe (fingers crossed, but not holding breath), if I make a positive effort...

One last quote...not sure whose it is, but a friend shared it:

"If you scratch the surface of a cynic, inside you will find a disappointed idealist."