Good old trusty denim

Today marked the final day of the strike. 

Tomorrow, all of my co-workers will come back. It will be business...but probably not as usual. Maybe. Maybe not, too. I think I'm feeling more apprehensive about their return than I felt 17 days ago when I first crossed the picket line. And I think a lot of people are feeling the same. As much as I would like to believe that things will go back to how they were before this whole thing began, I think I know better. I trust there will be people who will act no different than before: friendly. I also trust there will be people who will act no different than before: not so friendly. It's the people in-between that I'm not so sure about.

I know that those members of the union who were on strike are really, very proud for what they have accomplished (though, the accomplishment will not be revealed until tomorrow). And I , too, am really truly happy for them and proud of them for standing up for what they believe in, even if I don't believe the same. I can respect someone for practicing what they preach and following through with what they set out to accomplish. 

I didn't have very high expectations of what work would be like while everyone else was on strike. I figured it would be tough. Everyone warned that they could "make" me do just about anything. "They could make you work in any department!" And, of course, then I could rack up a bunch of errors! Gasp! 

But, I also knew what would be the right choice for me. And it had nothing to do with the type or amount of work that I would have to do. It was doing what I believed to be the responsible thing: go to work. And work. And you know what? I would never, in a million years, make a different choice. Yeah, I made about a paycheck's worth of overtime. Yeah, I got premiere parking for 2 1/2 weeks. Yeah, I got a few meals. And yeah, I got a shit ton of comp time. But I'm not sure that I can fully express how much more I received out of this experience. Just as those on strike are really proud of themselves for sticking together for a common cause, I feel the same way about those of us who worked OUR FUCKING ASSES OFF while they were dancing on the street corner (come on...I can add a little humor here and there). Would I have liked to dance, too? Hell yeah! I love making a fool of myself. But these past few weeks were my time to show that I can be a dedicated employee. And just as much as everyone on strike bound together and forged solid friendships, I'm much closer to the people who were working. And, when the majority of those are the people who manage you, well, it can't be a bad thing. We held it together. The system stayed afloat. But don't worry, we saved plenty of work for everyone. ;)

All day, I've felt about on the verge of crying. This whole experience has been quite overwhelming. I want to cry for relief: I can spend more time at home. I want to cry for pride: I worked so hard. I want to cry for OCD: those full shelves will, slowly but surely, be reduced to an average workload. I want to cry from anxiety: what will tomorrow, the next day, the next week, the next month bring? I want to cry for joy: I can wear jeans again!

Because, as nice as it will be to have the load taken off a bit, I am so, SO excited to wear a pair of motherfucking jeans to work tomorrow. Nobody better even think to ask me to go up to court for even the tiniest thing. Ain't gonna happen. 

As I stated before, I am really apprehensive about tomorrow. Like I said a few posts back, I am somebody who does really care about what people think of me. I'm not going to lie about that. I used to. I played the "alternative-don't-give-a-shit" girl for a long time. But, with age, I've gained a sense of honesty, both with myself and others. I guess I just need to remind myself: work is work and friends are friends. I'm not saying that I don't want to be on good terms with my co-workers. I'm just prepping myself in case they don't want to remain cordial. I suppose I should want honesty from them as well. And, if they can't look past our differences in opinion and maintain a positive working environment...so be it. And, if that working environment turns hostile...well, we all know how that last "threat" went. I take care of business. And I look out me.

Well. That's that. Hoping for the best...